I used to be a lifestyle lolita. Although I didn't wear EGL every single day, I wore lolita or lolita-adjacent coordinates most days. I also enjoyed many hobbies that used to be considered "lolita-related": sewing, afternoon tea, baking, writing, and drawing. Perhaps it's the rose-colored glasses of looking back on simpler times, but I've found myself daydreaming about returning to this lolita lifestyle. Is it possible for my current self, as a mom and office worker?
A coord I wore to class in 2016-ish
Dressed up to sit at a coffee shop
Looking back, we lifestylers would employ a few tricks to make daily life in EGL comfortable and appropriate. I'm hoping that by documenting some of these tips, I can help other fledging lifestyle lolitas feel more confident in making lolita part of their day-to-day, and perhaps I'll be able to return to more of a frilly lifestyle myself!
My coordinates were far from perfect
Back in 2013, we didn't care if our coordinates were camera-ready every single day. That would be extremely tiring! Wearing lolita-inspired fashion felt like a special little treat just for me. Sure, I'd try to make sure everyting matched as much as possible, just like I would for any outfit I'm wearing out of the house. That said, if the balance was a little off, or if I skipped the headwear or wore comfortable shoes... the only person who would know was me (since no one in my direct vicinity was a lolita).
I broke the rules.
On that note, in order to make lolita work for every day, sometimes I would break the rules. "But that's not lolita anymore!" I hear someone in the yelling into the void. Yes, it's not technically a full lolita coordinate if you don't wear a petticoat or if your collarbones are visible between your bolero and JSK.
But isn't it "more lolita" than jeans and a T-shirt?
Part of living the lolita lifestyle was dedicating myself to wearing EGL, even when it was inconvenient. However, if I was going to give a presentation at school I might not want to wear something so distracting as a giant cupcake petticoat. If I was going to be outdoors where it was really windy, maybe a large, floppy headpiece wouldn't make much sense. I'd evaluate what I was going to be doing on a given day, and decide which rules to break and which rules to stick to.
I prioritized versatile, budget-friendly pieces
I personally would not want to wear a $300 dress, lolita or not, to go grocery shopping. (If you do, more power to you!) Back in the day, lifestylers I knew would usually prioritize budget finds so we could justify it getting a little beat up from daily wear. It's just clothes, after all!
Cornet OP snagged on lacemarket for under $60USD
Skirt handmade out of a bedsheet
Purchased off a comm member who was moving
I used to scour the comm sales, and later lacemarket, for any dress or skirt in black for less than $100. All of my blouses were Bodyline (taobao would work great nowadays). I had one versatile bag that I'd pair with every coord. Of course I had special occasion pieces for tea parties and meetups, but for the most part I wasn't trying to win any lolita coordinate contests with my pieces. Usually I'm a "quality over quantity" person, but when it came to lolita basics for daily wear, I opted for quantity first and slowly upgraded the quality after establishing a workable base.
"Loliable" was good enough
Ah yes, "loliable"... the contentious term that has become a bit of a meme nowadays. There was a reason this phrase was so ubiquitous amongst lifestyle lolitas, though. While I'd generally choose true lolita brands for things like main pieces, when it came to legwear, blouses, shoes and accessories, I'd often scour my local Target, mall or thrift store for items that would pair well with my lolita wardrobe.
OTKs from Target and altered to add the ribbon
Purchased off eBay, remind me of Innocent World
From the kids Halloween section at a drugstore
I found this was helpful for two reasons. First, it was more budget-friendly than buying everything from lolita brands. I was not about to spend $40 plus shipping on one pair of tights when I could get a nice pair at a local store for $12. Second, when you mix non-lolita items into a casual coord, it becomes more "normie-passable". Head-to-toe Angelic Pretty will generally turn heads anywhere you go, but in some circumstances you might not want to be attracting too much attention. If you mix in some vintage or frilly normie clothing, though, people are more likely to clock you as just a little quirky.
I almost never posted online
Looking back, this actually might have been the biggest factor in what made it so easy to live a daily lolita lifestyle. Unless I was dressing up for a formal event, I almost never took a photo of myself in a coord. I didn't know many lifestylers who did. Although I did appear "overdressed" in a lot of circles, I knew that amongst a lolita audience my looks were casual, basic, and often broke rules. If every outfit had to be curated, staged and photographed, it would have made it a lot harder to wake up every morning and put together a coordinate. But if the ONLY goal is to feel beautiful and enjoy a slightly frillier, sweeter life, why wouldn't you want to enjoy that every day?
Hobbies counted as participation
As I mentioned earlier in this post, there were many hobbies that were considered to be "lolita hobbies". I'm not entirely sure who determined if a hobby was "lolita" or not, but perhaps it came from some of the older Gothic & Lolita Bible articles that celebrated activities like sewing, baking, writing letters on fancy stationery, playing an instrument, hosting or attending tea parties, painting or drawing, journaling, and reading classic literature. Even if you were wearing simple loungewear (bonus points if you'd affixed a bit of lace to it), if you were enjoying one of these hobbies it contributed to your overall lolita lifestyle.
My Lolita Lifestyle Moving Forward
In 2023 after a long hiatus, I decided to return to the EGL community as a "weekend lolita". I missed the beautiful clothing, as well as the sense of community and the fun tea parties. Even after having a baby recently, I've found that my life is better with lolita fashion in it. Putting together coords to hang out with my lolita friends every few months has truly been a highlight in my life over the last couple of years.
In recent months though, I've found myself craving a full return to a more EGL/EGA inspired lifestyle. I'm not entirely sure yet how I'll make it happen, as the majority of my life is spent either in an office or at home with a young baby. But the more I remember how much I enjoyed my soft, frilly lifestyle, the more I have realized that it might just require a mindset shift more than anything.
A casual look pairing a BtSSB cardigan, Jane Marple cutsew, and handmade headbows with a vintage skirt and casual accessories
Lifestyle lolita doesn't have to mean wearing a $1,000 coord with head-to-toe matching brand pieces every day. Lifestyle lolita might mean wearing a small petticoat with a simple skirt when going out to buy groceries. It could mean adding a simple headbow to an office outfit, or wearing a cutsew to go out to the park and play with my kid. It could mean returning to some of my favorite lolita hobbies, like baking or sewing. And most of all, to me, lolita lifestyle means making time to enjoy and embelish the sweet, soft, girly things in life.
As 2026 comes over the horizon, I am looking forward to all the ways I can embrace a more gothic lolita lifestyle. I will do my best to share my experience here with you, dear reader!
Want to see what's in my wardrobe right now? View my wardrobe :)
Looking to make smarter lolita purchases? Read about my Cost Per Wear trick
